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Pitch-slapping: It’s awkward, but you can do it to yourself

So, I played with my “pitch” a little today, and I was curious what people think. Half of it is still what the helpful Canaries worked out for me – for which I am most grateful – and while I like it, I’m still a little iffy on whether it is how the final pitch should read.

Anyway … if you’ve got an opinion, I’d love to read it:

Llew can heal herself, but it’s at the expense of whatever she’s touching and it’s proportional. When she dies, she comes back, but she is surrounded by death.

Leaping from the frying pan, she finds herself in the fire: travelling with a man carrying the one weapon in all the world that can kill her for good – a beautifully crafted knife.

The last of his warrior race, Jonas is surrounded by the ghosts of his loved ones. At his side, the knife that took their lives. His oath to keep it from claiming more souls is a heavy burden, made more so by his half-brother, the devious magician Braph, who is hunting for a new source of blood to fuel his power.

And Llew’s unexpected and unwanted presence may finally bring his resolve to breaking point.

Oh, yeah. I do realize I’ve used a cliché. At the moment, I’m happy with that, but I am pondering other options, too.